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Thread: TG & Friends

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    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    TG & Friends

    Something a few local friends and I have talked a bit about lately is that with most of our wives/gf, their "friends" can be quite toxic. It's almost as if there is a palpable fear between them that anyone should somehow climb above the rest... so when any one does too well, the others seem to work to pull them down again. Family is also guilty of this same thing fairly often, but family isnt chosen whereas friends are.


    To give some examples of this behavior...

    For the she-wok, she's almost isolated herself socially because every "friend" she had eventually tries to discourage her from continuing in school, or tries to force some friend of their gik onto her so she can have a Thai gik. Or asking (repeatedly) to borrow money, since she has a falang bf. Or telling her she just needs to get pregnant so she can stop school and get money from me.

    Another friend, who lives in a fairly nice moo baan, recently moved out of it because he said all the wives put a lot of pressure on his wife (who has a 4 month old newborn) to come out and gamble and drink. When his wife refused as it just wasnt her priority to do those things any more, she was labelled a 'snob' and then snubbed by everyone. She also had no interest in a Tha gik, which the gals seemed to pressure her with... friends of their own gik's most often. Happened even while she was pregnant!

    And yet another friend said once he bought the big house here in CM, and a couple of cars & a motorbike, his wife's friends all started reporting that he was out cheating. He's one of the few here who stayed completely loyal. One friend even called the wife to report that she'd just spotted the poor guy in a bar on Loy Kroh, paying for a girl! Unfortunately, he wasnt even on the same continent at the time... he was in Peru, on a work assignment.

    Getting back to the she-wok, word tends to spread around the village pretty quickly. Not much else to do, I suppose. So now many neighbors and old friends know that she finished one English school and is now studying at yet another to work specifically on speaking. She is also taking a basic computer class at a local tech school. And she is still working to finish high school. She she's got classes 6 out of 7 days in the week. When she finishes HS, her plan is to study nursing at Rachapat (sp?) University. The more sober members of her extended family are very proud of her and have told others how well she is doing now. Two childhood friends have now taken to (what amounts to, imo) a smear campaign, telling anyone who will listen that she is a "bad girl" and used to "work bar" and that she is too stupid to try to go to school like that so it's probably all lies. Of course, the reason BOTH of these girls know about Taky's past is that they worked the same goddamn business with her! Oh, the irony! Both of those girls have recently had babies and thus the reason they are back in the village... one from a middle easterner who will have nothing to do with her, the other from her yaba dealer- who will similarly have nothing to do with the gal. I'd guess it probably wont be long before go back to 'the trade'.

    So my friends and I have talked and conjectured about what the root cause of this is... I actually had to explain to Taky that someone who is a friend wants good things to happen for the people they know. They celebrate your victories, commiserate your losses, and help you when the chips are down. She looked at me like I'd just explained that martians are real. Her "friends" thus far in her life had done little but encourage her to use yaba, borrow money from her and repeatedly force friends of their gik's on to her for gik purposes. She's now adjusted her standards of what she'll put up with, but it seems because of her newfound standards, there's a pretty high turnover in the friend dept. Or she just keeps it at the acquaintance level... ok to got eat somtam with, but nothing else.

    Anyway, just wondering if anyone else has ever witnessed this or experienced it first hand...
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  2. #2
    Senior Member slampay's Avatar
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    Jealous, evil, malicious people are everywhere.

    IMO, get her out. It appears that there are only the two of you versus many of "them".

    They don't make a big enough mosquito net....

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    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    Pix for those that looked in here or read... (trying to offer variety to cover all the bases)










    There's a nice set of these gals, but this is the only one fit to share here...



    And lastly... one for my own nostalgia... back in Iraq, this is what we would call a "day-maker"...

    Last edited by WarProfiteer; 12th August 2013 at 11:47.
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    Senior Member slampay's Avatar
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    ^^^^ 5555555 wtf!!!! If those are the she-woks evil friends???

    Quit your bitching!! 555

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    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slampay View Post
    Jealous, evil, malicious people are everywhere.

    IMO, get her out. It appears that there are only the two of you versus many of "them".

    They don't make a big enough mosquito net....
    Well, it's not just me... this seems to be a common phenomenon among the guys I mostly hang out with here. When I ask the she-wok, she just says "I dont know why many Thai girls are like that...", but it's been my experience that for most things one can see, there is indeed a "why". It may be a crazy reason, there may be no logic to it, but there is generally a reason.

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    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slampay View Post
    ^^^^ 5555555 wtf!!!! If those are the she-woks evil friends???

    Quit your bitching!! 555
    Nah, just a tradition we have over on the fight forum... if you make a huge, long post you should supply pix of hot women as a reward to those who actually read through your verbose post.

    Also, didnt think I was bitching so much as just making an observation, sharing anecdotal experience, stories of others I know who had similar experiences, and asking if anyone here has seen or experienced that same... and if so, why do they think things are this way? Lots of guys here with more experience than my 2 years of living here.
    Last edited by WarProfiteer; 12th August 2013 at 11:46.

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    Senior Member geir's Avatar
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    Yeah, it's a bit like I said in the "friends" thread. The Thais don't seem to have close lifetime friends. I see my Mrs too is changing her friends all the time. She also is getting asked for money and offered giks. I told one of them once that she should be a bit more careful with what she offers my Mrs, as my Mrs will tell me about it. It was fun to see how her face dropped, and she never talked to us again 555
    The jealousy between them amazes me, but it's a good reminder that in most cases they stay with us for money and security, not for western type of love (whatever that is)
    Last edited by geir; 12th August 2013 at 13:20.
    A blowjob is better than no job!!

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    Senior Member geir's Avatar
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    BTW, I could die for the dark one in the swimming pool..........A good reason to move to South America :-)
    A blowjob is better than no job!!

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    Senior Member slampay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarProfiteer View Post
    Nah, just a tradition we have over on the fight forum... if you make a huge, long post you should supply pix of hot women as a reward to those who actually read through your verbose post.

    Also, didnt think I was bitching so much as just making an observation, sharing anecdotal experience, stories of others I know who had similar experiences, and asking if anyone here has seen or experienced that same... and if so, why do they think things are this way? Lots of guys here with more experience than my 2 years of living here.
    Well thanks for nice offerings.

    Not in Thailand, but I lifted my ex-wife from poverty. I wasn't much better at the time we met, but I was deffo on an upward curve. 10 years later, she/we had it all....

    Her old friends, who liked me when we had nothing, all the sudden started filling her dome with bullshit. Dragging her back. Same same as she-wok...I was bad. I worked to much, didn't give her ALL the money, ect....

    Since I was always working, "he's cheating on you". For the record, I was in love and devoted.

    It was near impossible to shake these human shit stains. My ex had a life long history with them and couldn't let go. If I had the chance to do it over again, I would have packed up the family (we had the boys by then), and moved far away.
    The roots that were her friends......jealous and deceitful. She could not see this.

    Years later, after she split, not because of them on the surface (IMO), at least three of her "life long" friends tried very hard to jump my bones...

    The same ones that said I was no good...go figure?

    So, that's my real life experiance with friends made of trash. Good luck brother!

  10. #10
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geir View Post
    BTW, I could die for the dark one in the swimming pool..........A good reason to move to South America :-)
    Zoe salander I think.. And agreed, 4 and 3.. What was this thread about again ?? Oh yeah.. Friends..

    Another one I have seen happen is the intense peer pressure to do whatever the group, or rather usually the senior / leaders of the group wish to do.. To the point where if one says "no I don't want to go to x, or go drinking, or go along with the plan" they get a kind of do it or your not our friend.. There's little room to be an individual outside the collective..

  11. #11
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    One I saw in patong.. My brother wanted to help kick start his girls English.. So he signs her up for the English school course.. After doing well in the classes, she was obviously avoiding it, and when it all spilled out it was because in the class the whole activity of the girls in it, all with western partners, was "how much has he bought you" and if you didn't already have him buying land and a car you were stupid, etc etc.. Because they were just starting, and she was a decent sort who didn't ask for much, she didn't reach far up the gold digger hierarchy and she was mocked for it..

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    I don't think it uniquely Asian, or even female, to be that way. It's always seemed to me that most people of an accepted social standing would rather not see anybody of a similar standing do well for themselves and move on in life.

    I'm sure a head doctor ( too early to try 'physcologist' ) could explain it but I can't. As a clumsy attempt, I think that people are basically lazy or afraid of failure. They don't want to see themselves as that way so they accept their lot in life and blame it on karma or something 'it's not my fault because...'. They want other people who try to better themselves to fail, and will go to great lengths to help them fail, because that failure validates their inertia.

    I think.

    I'm with Geir on the chick in the pool; smoking.
    Last edited by Steve@thaib; 12th August 2013 at 12:44.

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    my wife has 2 very best friends, one since she was 10yrs old, the other for the last 8 years
    both are great kids and they all still keep in touch almost daily

    and she also has very nice thai friends here in Vancouver
    her 1st friend here was a jealous type of girl, put Ao down a lot.......but Ao just cut her out of her life real quick

    there is sniping in the village, as always, but we are really not involved there anymore

  14. #14
    Senior Member geir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve@thaib View Post

    I'm with Geir on the chick in the pool; smoking.
    Who said I wanted to share 5555
    A blowjob is better than no job!!

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    Senior Member kris-one's Avatar
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    What is it that Gore Vidal said...'Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little'.
    I agree with Steve in that I don't think it's necessarily an Asian thing.

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    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kris-one View Post
    What is it that Gore Vidal said...'Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little'.
    I agree with Steve in that I don't think it's necessarily an Asian thing.
    I don't think it's purely an Asian thing.. But I do see a stronger actual attempt to undermine someone in the Thai females I have known.. Not just a jealousy but an active attempt to talk bad or bullshit about one doing ok.

  17. #17
    K2
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarProfiteer View Post
    Nah, just a tradition we have over on the fight forum... if you make a huge, long post you should supply pix of hot women as a reward to those who actually read through your verbose post.
    A very good tradition ... as for the post ... yep always keep the radar scanned for errant 'friends' ... although K1 scares the hell out of most people, so doesn't tolerate peer pressure BS - fortunately.
    Its My Life .....!

  18. #18
    Senior Member Dodger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LivinLOS View Post
    I don't think it's purely an Asian thing.. But I do see a stronger actual attempt to undermine someone in the Thai females I have known.. Not just a jealousy but an active attempt to talk bad or bullshit about one doing ok.
    Totally agree, it is much much stronger and done more regularly here. I could recount dozens of the same examples as Kev has. Yes all they want to do is borrow and maybe payback, try to influence the girl to do something that will ultimately destroy her relationship.

    The hard bit is to show this is what is happening to your partner, she usually believes all the crap as well. Until it goes against her and then she cannot understand why they are doing this.

    My ex gf is making a life for herself, she works for us as our manager of the cleaning team, gets a regular okay wage plus tips and extra income from clients, babysitting, cooking lessons, vehicle hire etc. Has her son here, going to a better school, being looked after. So all round doing okay, so the same pattern as for Kev starts, firstly, lets see if we can get you to do something that will ferk it up. Nah didn't seem to work, lets borrow some money and continue with these requests, nah seems to have dried up. Okay lets start with as many stupid rumours as we can. Latest one is she's got HIV!!! this really really upsets her, I just laughed, not to belittle her concern. I tell her why this is funny, I said if you had HIV, I think you would look a little bit ill?, you probably would be losing weight?, both the total opposites of her actual circumstance, I said anyone that simply looks at you can see this is total crap, why let it worry you?? but it does because she believed every other story fed to her about others, so knows that locals will all believe this one!!!

    Can't really 100% say why they do this?? Jealousy, maybe??? it also seems normal practice on meeting to put the other down with their opening statement to each other, ie 'ohh you are very dark, overweight, etc etc, so maybe an extension of this?? maybe it just makes them feel better about themselves??

    But whatever reason, yes Kev it is totally normal practice here and will continue whatever friends she ends up with. I just try to remember each poor story to remind her of, when she tells me about someone else.
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  19. #19
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dodger View Post
    Can't really 100% say why they do this?? Jealousy, maybe??? it also seems normal practice on meeting to put the other down with their opening statement to each other, ie 'ohh you are very dark, overweight, etc etc, so maybe an extension of this?? maybe it just makes them feel better about themselves??
    I have seen this, but only done / directed at girls and women who had a issan / poor / low social status kind of bearing.. Just something I took to be another one of the near spiteful levels of classism that runs very counter to how I like to treat people.

    But whatever reason, yes Kev it is totally normal practice here and will continue whatever friends she ends up with. I just try to remember each poor story to remind her of, when she tells me about someone else.
    Do you think its applies on all social strata ?? Or rather do you think equally middle class or equally more upper classes do it as much ?? I would have guessed theres probably as much in between levels, but I wonder if the more internationalized and traveled types Paulie kind of brings up, the new urban Thais, getting out of the country etc have this same scene ??

    It is strange, as I have seen this cause so much hurt / anxiety / poor feelings between girls.. I have seen them bemoan it happening.. So why does and who does it get propagated by ??

    My guess, and it is purely a guess, is that its going to be a lot more prevalent in the poor groups as they are likely to have borne the brunt of more stigma and its pyabck / chip on the shoulder time ?? Like a masking own insecurity thing.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Loop's Avatar
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    "tall poppy" syndrome is alive and well the world over.

    My GF`s only two real friends are her similar aged cousin living in France and her mom.

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