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Thread: Shit you did as a kid

  1. #1
    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    Shit you did as a kid

    I am sure we all have many stories to tell, but “Dennis the Menace” should figure high on the lists.
    My stepmother once said that pre-teen I was the most impossible kid, but as a teen I was among the easiest.

    When posting your stories try to approximate your age.

    Through three years of age I remember next to nothing and can only note that I “escaped” home early one morning to play in the sand box three stories down … my mum often said I scared the hell out of the family when my bed was empty and “nowhere” to be found.

    Age 4: This is where menace began. I was living in Copenhagen on the third floor on a major street (Nørre Farimagsgade). There was some sidewalk construction going on with a few workers down there when I needed to go to the bathroom. It may have been occupied, but nonetheless I decided to stand in the window and pee right down on the workers.
    This is also where I found my first "love". It was my chore to take the garbage down through the back stair case and a girl living a floor below had the same chore. We had our first kiss and quickly ran home. We would make noise as a signal to meet, but the meetings were never longer than a two to three second kisses.

    I will wait with age five, six, etc. but it may astound (if no shock) some as to what went on.

    Your turn …

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    Senior Member tnlawyer's Avatar
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    I used to roam the neighborhood with my BB gun when I was 9 or 10 years old. My mom gave me carte blanche to shoot as many grackles as I wanted which I did. Flocks of grackles had invaded the area and the birds were preying on some of the other birds. There was this one neighbor who got really pissed at me one day when I mistook a blue jay for a grackle. She told my mom and that got my BB gun taken away for a week or so. Once I got my gun back, I promptly shot another blue jay and left it on her porch. Never did get pinched for that one.

    Guess I'm now officially disqualified from ever serving on the Supreme Court 55.
    Last edited by tnlawyer; 3rd October 2018 at 05:53.
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    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    I once stated that I never have shot a gun, however, at amusement parks BB yes and once or twice at tin cans.
    If I had one in the early days you would have seen dented cars and broken windows ... just wait

  4. #4
    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    Age 5:
    It is getting going. For ½ that age I lived in the small town of Vejen, DK and the other ½ with grand parents in Holstebro while mom and dad was out of the country.
    In Vejen we lived in an ordinary brick house near the railroad.
    Somehow it got to my attention that a train could be derailed by putting a coin on the tracks. Obviously that was not true, but I did not give up after just a couple of tries. It became more coins and later rocks and then a pile of rocks. I wanted to see a train thing come crashing down. The closest I came was bringing a train to a squeezing stop … and I gave up.
    The neighbor boy was about my age, but I envied that he had much more Lego than I so visiting him frequently I would always go home with a pocket full of Lego. My inventory was building nicely and why I did not get caught will always remains a mystery.
    Near where we lived was a horse riding arena and a stable. One day I took all the hay I could manage and filled up a couple of the jump vaults, added some gasoline and fire. Oh my, fire department galore.
    Second half with grand parents … they had a huge condo 600m2 with three decks/balconies. One was smallish; second probably 100+m2 and the third at least 300m2, but basically a roof top with gravel surface.
    The second deck had a shallow pool/fountain with a pissing boy sculpture … I think a replica from somewhere in Benelux. Normally it would be pissing a foot or two in to the pool, but I discovered that turning the pressure full force ten times that was achievable and the wiener could be directed. Adding part of a wine cork it must have sprayed 40-50 feet. One day grandpa had business people over for a cocktail and I decided to point the wiener towards the table area and then turn the pressure full force; never have you seen so many wet suits … I received a house/room arrest for that one 555.
    The bigger deck had pyramid shaped skylights to the shoe store below (the biggest in Europe). I would remove some glass and poor water on the customers below.
    My grand parents had three maids; First was 24/7, second keeping up the second floor … probably 4-6 hours a day and the third just a couple of days a week. The first was also the sitter and to start it was Maria from Austria who was a darling, but she moved on to become an office worker in the shoe store, so a next was hired. I really disliked her. Within days of employ it was her birthday and man did I have a present for her. I took a good dump on a page of a news paper, folded it up and wrapped it … damn you should have seen her face when she unwrapped it on the kitchen counter … EOS, she quit.
    I was staying with the other grandma for a short time. As a kid I did not like her, so I decided to run away. This is the second biggest city in DK (Århus) and surely I knew little as to my way around, but I knew how to get to aunt and uncle's place via street cars. I just did not have money so I walked to city center, and then followed the tracks to near where they lived. I was probably out of sight and out of touch for a good two hours. I must have scared the emojis out of the family.
    So why did I not like her? Her sitting skills were to tear a news paper into threads and throw it in the air and ask me to pick it all up. If not that she paid me one øre (less tan a penny) per minute to sit on an ottoman and remain hush. Her place stunk of cigar and she had 100's of family pictures on the wall and none of me.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    I am getting the sense that few did "Shit as a Kid". 555
    ... or to reserved to reveal

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    Senior Member Waharoa's Avatar
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    I'll join in....

    When I was 5 years old... I got a load of newspapers together under my neighbours house... a house which was made completely of wood... and lit them... I did manage to blacken the floor boards above my head before the neighbour put it out and beat me shitless... 55

    Another time I lit a candle, went underneath our house and sat the candle on a bunch of cans... cans containing petrol. I knew petrol was highly flammable... and yet... think I was about seven then.

    Another time I stuck my hands into the blades of a moving cylinder lawn mower because I wanted to have a go... I sill have the scars... but I didn't lose my fingers... there was a lot of blood.

    There is worse stuff, but I don't want to sound nuts.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waharoa View Post
    I'll join in....

    When I was 5 years old... I got a load of newspapers together under my neighbours house... a house which was made completely of wood... and lit them... I did manage to blacken the floor boards above my head before the neighbour put it out and beat me shitless... 55

    Another time I lit a candle, went underneath our house and sat the candle on a bunch of cans... cans containing petrol. I knew petrol was highly flammable... and yet... think I was about seven then.

    Another time I stuck my hands into the blades of a moving cylinder lawn mower because I wanted to have a go... I sill have the scars... but I didn't lose my fingers... there was a lot of blood.

    There is worse stuff, but I don't want to sound nuts.
    I like it Waharoa ... in my journey through childhood you will see some pyromaniac stories as well.
    Great post
    About sounding nuts ... we are all a little nuts around here, so keep them coming.

    PS, glad your lawnmower accident did not get any worse than some scars. A few years ago I managed to "shave off" 1 and 2 mm of two fingers respectively. In about 2-3 years it all looked normal, but the tip of one finger is still partially numb and probably will never fully heal ... not that it really matters though ... and not as a child.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Waharoa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tnlawyer View Post
    I used to roam the neighborhood with my BB gun when I was 9 or 10 years old. My mom gave me carte blanche to shoot as many grackles as I wanted which I did. Flocks of grackles had invaded the area and the birds were preying on some of the other birds. There was this one neighbor who got really pissed at me one day when I mistook a blue jay for a grackle. She told my mom and that got my BB gun taken away for a week or so. Once I got my gun back, I promptly shot another blue jay and left it on her porch. Never did get pinched for that one.

    Guess I'm now officially disqualified from ever serving on the Supreme Court 55.
    I did shoot someone with a pellet gun when I was about nine I think. I didn't expect it to hurt him as much as it did. I was about 50 yards away and shot him, hitting one of his legs... as he was sitting on his bike. He looked in a bit of pain. He was a lot older than me so I didn't make myself known.

    If I saw a kid now behaving as I did, I'd wonder about his parenting.
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    Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, just as it is the spirit of a spiritless situation. It is the opium of the people.

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    Senior Member tnlawyer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waharoa View Post
    I did shoot someone with a pellet gun when I was about nine I think. I didn't expect it to hurt him as much as it did. I was about 50 yards away and shot him, hitting one of his legs... as he was sitting on his bike. He looked in a bit of pain. He was a lot older than me so I didn't make myself known.

    If I saw a kid now behaving as I did, I'd wonder about his parenting.
    55 but you have to admit, as crazy as we were, it was much better than what goes on today. Plinking a kid with a pellet gun is a far cry from taking out 20 kids in a school shooting.
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    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tnlawyer View Post
    55 but you have to admit, as crazy as we were, it was much better than what goes on today. Plinking a kid with a pellet gun is a far cry from taking out 20 kids in a school shooting.
    You are right on that one and do not forget bulling, though bulling has been around for as long as mankind.
    I was bullied a little when I was a kid, but not to an extend I would complain about it ... oh, and bullied a little myself.
    It does seem, however, that bulling in some cases has come to an extreme.
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    Super Moderator dawsey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrDK View Post
    I am getting the sense that few did "Shit as a Kid". 555
    ... or to reserved to reveal
    I have a few........just thinking of the best one first.
    RIP Nicke June 1971 - Jan 2013.

    AT SOME POINT IN LIFE, EVERYONE HAS GAMBLED ON A FART AND LOST.

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrDK View Post
    You are right on that one and do not forget bulling, though bulling has been around for as long as mankind.
    I was bullied a little when I was a kid, but not to an extend I would complain about it ... oh, and bullied a little myself.
    It does seem, however, that bulling in some cases has come to an extreme.
    It's the phones and social media
    I used to scoff at the notion that "bullying" was more prevalent but it is

  13. #13
    Super Moderator dawsey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrDK View Post
    You are right on that one and do not forget bulling, though bulling has been around for as long as mankind.
    I was bullied a little when I was a kid, but not to an extend I would complain about it ... oh, and bullied a little myself.
    It does seem, however, that bulling in some cases has come to an extreme.
    I was a bully in primary school. I'm not proud of it now.
    Used to grab the same kid every break and punch the top of his arm until it felt dead. No idea why either. Poor bugger never did anything to warrant it.
    I was a nasty bugger thinking about it.
    If I found my own kids bullying, I'd sort them out double lively. Fortunately, they were good kids, unlike me.
    RIP Nicke June 1971 - Jan 2013.

    AT SOME POINT IN LIFE, EVERYONE HAS GAMBLED ON A FART AND LOST.

  14. #14
    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    Age six and seven:
    Some of the shit I do not know exactly when it happened and I mainly compartmentalize based on where I lived, my dad as a Dr. moved a lot.
    Smoking: Both my mom and dad (doctor) smoked. My dad smoked cigars, IIRC just a few a day. My mom smoked cigarettes (lots), but chose to switch to “lady cigars” (in Danish cigarutter), as they were believed to be healthier and she bought a couple of boxes of 50. I stole a few, at least five or maybe close to ten. I brought them to the meadow with a friend and we started smoking (I was six years of age) and had three going at the same time. My big brother discovered us and announced he would tell mom.. I told him to give it a try before telling and after he lit up I advised him that he could not tell mom as he was smoking as well. Oopsy-oopsy big bro.
    Mom switched back to cigarettes later and I would either steal those or steal the money to buy “my own”.
    I do not know why and what exactly happened, but somehow I had an upset with a neighbor (dad or son I remember not). Nonetheless revenge was in the cards. Where we lived was a line of carports with gravel surface. The daddy had a Volvo Amazon (same as my dad) and my “trick” was to fill his gas tank of that Volvo with gravel. I do not remember the details afterwards, but I am sure it was expensive. If that was not enough I later deflated all the tires of his car.
    This was during the time when my dad disappeared with a colleague nurse (later to become my stepmom) on Xmas day. I was so mad that I had to take action. The nurse’s husband had a large nursery and while I picked the wrong target I went there during dark and ripped as many roses and other plants out of the front of the house/business as I could. Don’t know how many but several 10’s. My mom got depressed every Christmas and if it wasn't for her strong will not to let the kids aware, I do not know what could have happened.

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    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    Age eight:
    Living in Copenhagen, again, I actually do not have much to report. Still smoking, of course, and found a hiding place under the stairs.
    I loved Tivoli Garden (lived a couple of blocks away) and managed to sprint through the gates and have a free day of fun.
    Mom enrolled me and my big brother in what is probably the most prestigious schools in DK (Zahles Skole), same that the current queen of DK attended. Aside from starting a small fire and smashing a couple of windows, I behaved reasonably in school.
    Between home and school was (is) a nice park (Ørstedsparken) and one day walking home from school I saw a little duckling without mama duck. I picked it up (kind as I was) and some workers nearby told me that it was orphan and since I now added human scent it would never be accepted by mama and surely would die … so I cut matters short and smashed it with a rock. HCA might have turned over in his grave.

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    This is not any sort of making fun of you

    But all this sounds like someone who didn't play sports and too much free time as a kid

    I am a huge proponent of getting kids into sports
    It takes up their time
    It uses up all that restless energy kids have

    And most importantly it throws them in the social deep end pool

  17. #17
    Senior Member Waharoa's Avatar
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    You take it for granted playing sports as a kid. But looking back now... being good at sport when I was young gave me "status" amongst my peers... made it easier to make friends...

    Trouble is, if you were rubbish at sport, no one wanted to be your friend... at least amongst the ruthless group I grew up with... so it's a double-edged sword... 55
    Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, just as it is the spirit of a spiritless situation. It is the opium of the people.

  18. #18
    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marc26 View Post
    This is not any sort of making fun of you

    But all this sounds like someone who didn't play sports and too much free time as a kid
    It can sound anyway like you like, but I was a top gymnast (selected for exhibitions), a race bicycle biker (both road and track) and played badminton (indoor).
    I know some (particularly Americans) view badminton as a garden play, but in some countries like DK, England, and several Asian countries it is a highly competitive sport. Fast and energy consuming.
    On a smaller scale I played team handball, soccer and did high diving.
    I did not play American football, basketball, ice hockey or baseball, so I guess you can say by American standards I did not get in to sports.
    It is fair to say, however, that most such activities did not really start before age six or seven. First came soccer (not a sport), swimming/diving (not a sport) and then came biking and gymnastics (not sports). My swimming teacher was a non sporty (Ragnhild Hveger) who held over 40 world records.
    I just thought non of these fit into "Shit You did as a Kid".
    PS, how many kids do you know that can (could) put both legs around the neck and do a handstand?
    Nah, I did not do sport so I had time to fill gas tanks with rocks and set things on fire. I should have been growing up today where computer killing games and Facebook are kids sports.
    Oh, I was a boy scout for a few years as well while blowing electrical circuits (coming later) in the school.
    Sorry, Sir, I we have a little different views on things.

  19. #19
    Senior Member MrDK's Avatar
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    Since we are a bit OT and talking non-sport activities, I want to share a story.
    The first exhibition gymnastic show I attended I was well qualified for certain activities, but not doing somersault from a springboard, I would most often do a "90%" and fall on my rear. Though we were a large team of over 100 there was a shortage of kids that could even do 90% so I was selected.
    Just before my run the coach said: "jump hard and give it EVERYTHING you got, land and fall on you hands is better than on you behind".
    I went for it and still landed on my rear, but everyone was clapping. I did not even realize that I just did a double somersault, well nearly. I gave it all I got.
    Back to the SHIT part ... much more fun in hindsight.
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  20. #20
    Senior Member sundancekid's Avatar
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    It is indeed. I was actually pretty good at sports. Played state-side football at age 15 with three who eventually went on to play in the Championship. Not very tall, but very fast and a had kick with a punch as a right-backer. Growing up with a bad back and with juvenile arthritis probably put an end to it. As well as discovering alcohol. I’m definitely not Supreme Court material. Discovering Thailand in 1998 have done wonders to my joints though… Humidity and turmeric.

    Best sporting event was participating in the Norwegian Baseball Championships. It was more of a beer league in the early 90s. We lost to Bergen in the semi-finals one year. Best name of a baseball team ever? The city between 7 mountains and with a reputation of being the rainy city. The Bergen Wet Socks 555. I was the lead-off batter, with an extreme hang-over. I received the Burger King awards for that particular at-bat. It was rainy, and the catcher lost the ball on my third strike, so I started running as fast I possibly could… towards third base…

    Growing up in rural Norway involved a lot of injuries. Scars, broken bones, and a dislocated shoulder when my drunken uncle wanted to try teaching me to shoot a shot-gun at age 10. So anything to learn from all that? I grew up always surrounded by fresh produce. I can milk a cow and make goat cheese. But then when you began studying and working you kind of lost that intimacy with nature. Replaced by takeaways and frozen pizzas and whatnots. One of the revelations moving to Thailand was beginning to reconnect with that particular past. So I’m making cheese again, growing tomatoes… and will never buy store bought curry paste ever again. And that's probably more than enough rambling 555.
    Last edited by sundancekid; 5th October 2018 at 16:07.

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