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Thread: Nutso Canadian Astronaught

  1. #1
    Senior Member nelsonone's Avatar
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    Mar 2013

    Nutso Canadian Astronaught

    This one gave me a chuckle......

    Chris Hadfield ejected from movie theatre for loudly heckling Gravity

    WATERLOO, ON – Responding to numerous patron complaints, the staff of the Empire Theatres Waterloo reportedly removed famed Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield after he would not stop heckling a screening of Gravity, the space thriller that has recently dominated the domestic box office.

    Eyewitnesses reported that during last night’s 9:15pm Real3D screening of Gravity, a lone man (later identified as retired ISS Commander Chris Hadfield) began muttering under his breath and chuckling to himself. By the 30-minute mark, Hadfield reportedly made numerous rude comments such as, “Nice Soyuz procedure, Hollywood!” and “Oh yeah, because that’s what hypoxia as caused by rapid cabin decompression looks like you idiots!.”
    “It was the damndest thing,” recounted Isabelle Tremblay. “My boyfriend and I were like, ‘what a jerk’, and he went back to talk to him. But then he came back to our seats and he was like ‘I’m pretty sure that was that astronaut guy. You know, from the news.’ So we just let him go. I mean, what do you do? An astronaut probably gets George Clooney’s character struggles a little better than I do.”
    Hadfield’s alleged berating of the film continued unabated. During one crucial and deathly silent scene involving Sandra Bullock’s character’s desperate attempt to reach her vessel and avoid dying in the void of space, the man who brought honour and fun to Canadian space exploration let out a long, piercing, and altogether perfect fart.
    Eventually, theatre staff was notified, and the Canadian living legend was loudly removed from the cinema. Witnesses report that he did not go quietly. One patron recalled, “The last thing I heard him yelling was, ‘Have you been to space? Because I’ve been to space!’”
    “But he’s still a hero, I suppose.”
    At press time, Commander Hadfield’s family and friends were really hoping he never finds out about the 1996 horror classic: Leprechaun In Space.

    Last modified on Tuesday, 29 October 2013 16:38

    Last edited by nelsonone; 4th November 2013 at 14:39.
    sundancekid likes this.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    And thats not from the Onion ??

  3. #3
    Senior Member Snakebite911's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by LivinLOS View Post
    And thats not from the Onion ??

  4. #4
    Senior Member faultytowers's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by LivinLOS View Post
    And thats not from the Onion ??
    Quote Originally Posted by Snakebite911 View Post
    A very "Onionesque" newspaper going by other stories !

    Blind-internet-frustration not covered by Obamacare

    WASHINGTON President Obama announced that people going blind with frustration over politely crashing will not be able to get this condition covered once the website lets them sign up.

    Look, Im sympathetic to the terrible trend of people losing their most precious sense of sight over a glitchy website, sighed a squinting Obama Im almost as myopic as the Republicans over this mess.
    Blind-internet-frustration not covered by Obamacare - The Beaverton - North America's Trusted Source of News

  5. #5
    Senior Member slampay's Avatar
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    Apr 2013
    When he farted, I would have just simply died laughing..555555

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