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Thread: Where do you consider home?

  1. #1
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Where do you consider home?

    Me and Up2u were chatting a bit about this and with so many of us expats or frequent travelers, i was wondering:

    -where do you consider home?
    -do you consider yourself not really having a home?
    -how do you connect to where you originally came from, if you do at all?
    -do you have a connection or admiration with where you live now if you are an expat?
    -does the country you live in make it easy to integrate into the culture and with the locals? (obviously Canada from US is easy as can be)

    Mine is a bit all over the place now:
    Lived in Boston since i was 19yrs old
    Maine for 1 year
    Boston 2 more years until 21yrs old
    NYC for 11 years
    Vancouver going on close to 9 years(that blows my mind!)

    I have a personal connection to all of them:
    Boston-it is a huge part of my make-up but the more i go back, the more i realize i don't fit in from exactly where i came from. I could easily move back there and live right in downtown Boston and fit right back in. But i am talking about my old neighborhood. It will come off so snobby but i just outgrew the place. We go back and go to my nephews' hockey games and I am just so different than all these people, even down to the way i dress (Ao is appalled at how sloppy people dress in my hood 555) I still love seeing my family(although my brother and one sister can really drive me nuts) and friends, i just seem to drift farther away from my area in Boston.

    NYC- Just fits me the best of anywhere. The pace, the people, everything about it. I just feel like i am where i belong when i am there. I am truly excited and energized when i land back there every time and i am fortunate i get to go there often

    Vancouver-This one is becoming confusing to me. In the 1st 4-6 years, i fell in love with Canada, and still am in love with the country. I have made great friends here who are just the best people, they truly like me as me. But i just always feel, even though i feel i have integrated pretty well here, that i am a square peg in a round hole. As much affection as i have for the people and the country, i just don't know if i will ever truly feel Canadian or that I truly fit here.

    well, that was longer than i intended but i would love to hear everyone else's thought
    this should be an interesting thread
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    Interesting that, the whole concept of 'home'.

    If I talk to anyone about home, I live on the Fylde Coast in England and that's home; that's where I belong. If anyone asks me where I come from it's Salford, that's where my roots are. I haven't been back since I was a kid though. I do feel an attachment to Salford and yet not for any real reason that I could explain.

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    I can relate to this 100%, I spent most of my time in Queensland, Gold Coast, just love it and I still call that home.

    Now we live in Sydney (3.5yrs) and i'm scarred this is actually feeling like home, I would go back 'home' in a blink, but it's not feasible at the moment.

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    Senior Member nelsonone's Avatar
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    I haven't got one anymore.....555

    obviously feel at home in Samui after 2 years here...and was as easily comfortable in Kamala for the 3 years before that....however my folks sold the "family home" which was on Lake Macquarie in Australia maybe 10 years back so I'm just confused these days and will be wandering the earth from now until the day I die searching for what can never be replaced 555

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    [QUOTE=marc26;39578]Me and Up2u were chatting a bit about this and with so many of us expats or frequent travelers, i was wondering:

    Vancouver going on close to 9 years(that blows my mind!)

    /QUOTE]

    My pal left the Army and moved to Medicine Hat with his wife. He has found a job which pays far better than the UK equivilant.
    He absolutely loves Canada, so much so that the girls in the parlours know him by name..although he has never been in them!!! 5555

    He loves the weather and the largeness of everything and would never return home by choice

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    Yes
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    +1 for homeless,I never really felt like I had one anywhere.

    Just lived a lot of different places

    Feel no national identity,no cultural identity.No flag for me.

    No sentimental ideas about home,

    Just a wanderer.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    Odd mixture for me.. I was born in scotland my old man ended up on the run so we were in the republic of ireland for a few years.. Then loads of places in england moving all the time, I went to 4 different schools in my first year of school. Then even when we 'settled' in the south west, we spent major portions of time in hippy buses doing the 70s hippy trail to n africa, sometimes as much as 6 months of the year being nomadic and living like tinkers in converted horse boxes, a postal van, even VW combis for short ones.

    I was given immense freedoms as a kid, left to look after myself for months on end mid teens because I no longer wanted to go on tours, remember washing my school shirts, living alone at 15 for a whole summer which was not normal, got put into (and broke out of) care that year too.. So by the time I was 16 I was hitchiking all over the UK and even mainland europe all the time.

    I guess I have a connection to Glastonbury in the SW of the UK.. But not that I remotely think of it as home, England does have some home vibe.. But I feel more at ease in the developing world. I cant get with the rules of the west even though I know its those same rules that make personal rights work too.. The sights sounds and smells of asia definitely speak to me, and I now feel 'at home' in most of SE asia having done a large portion of life here. But at the same time your constantly reminded your an outsider, you cant naturalize, and you can only integrate so far.

    Strangely I feel far more 'at home' and settled in Chiang Mai after only a few years here, than I ever did in Phuket after 9 or so. Here I feel a welcomed outsider, there I felt a tolerated one, at best.
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    Quote Originally Posted by nelsonone View Post
    I haven't got one anymore.....555

    obviously feel at home in Samui after 2 years here...and was as easily comfortable in Kamala for the 3 years before that....however my folks sold the "family home" which was on Lake Macquarie in Australia maybe 10 years back so I'm just confused these days and will be wandering the earth from now until the day I die searching for what can never be replaced 555
    One day Grasshopper, you will find yourself...

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yes View Post
    +1 for homeless,I never really felt like I had one anywhere.

    Just lived a lot of different places

    Feel no national identity,no cultural identity.No flag for me.

    No sentimental ideas about home,

    Just a wanderer.
    that is a weird one( well not weird, just different)
    how to that all come about?
    do you feel sort of a lonlieness? you might not care at all

  10. #10
    Senior Member nelsonone's Avatar
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    Home - is where I want to be
    But I guess I’m already there
    I come home - -she lifted up her wings
    Guess that this must be the place
    I can’t tell one from another
    Did I find you, or you find me?
    There was a time before we were born
    If someone asks, this where I’ll be . . . where I’ll be


    Last edited by nelsonone; 28th January 2014 at 22:21.

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    Senior Member tnlawyer's Avatar
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    I've lived in Tennessee, Texas, Florida, back to Tennessee, Utah for a year and a half and now back in Tennessee again. Tennessee is definitely home, but I think I could live anywhere as long as it is warm, humid, and I'm left to my own devices.

  12. #12
    Super Moderator dawsey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LivinLOS View Post
    Odd mixture for me.. I was born in scotland
    A closet Jock eh? Kept that one to yourself for a while 5555
    RIP Nicke June 1971 - Jan 2013.

    AT SOME POINT IN LIFE, EVERYONE HAS GAMBLED ON A FART AND LOST.

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    Senior Member Waharoa's Avatar
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    I'm gonna be soppy... sorry.

    My home is wherever my parents are. Even though I have spent most of my life on the opposite side of the world to them... and they have moved around quite a bit since I left... each time I visit them... I feel like I am "home" all those childhood memories come flooding back. A sense of security maybe? I don't know... So for me the question is not "where", but "Who" is your home? When they die... I don't know where will feel like home. I await the challenge.

    I guess many others with kids especially must feel at home wherever their family is?
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    Senior Member Waharoa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ub2yoo View Post
    Makes perfectly sense. Most approach it from the home/place they grew up + parents who are still living there (Are you going home for xmas?).
    Your angle is interesting, first time I hear it this way.

    Aside of that, the passing away of parents surely takes a significant change to that picture and home 'as you knew it' is gone in a snap

    I think that's why it's important to have your own home defined already, aside from parents, regardless of where that is
    I have places that feel familiar, comfortable, contain friends and memories and good feelings... and maybe one of them will become my home when they go... maybe that's why I have never settled... because I have never found my home? But a wife/kids would change that too. But if I stay single forever, I'll be a nomad like Nels... wherever I lay my hat...
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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ub2yoo View Post
    Aside of that, the passing away of parents surely takes a significant change to that picture and home 'as you knew it' is gone in a snap
    i certainly wish my mom was around, really wish Ao had met(that kills me) but my siblings and friends still make Boston home

  16. #16
    K2
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    I'm definitely in the home is where the heart is camp ... and while I think British history and tradition has some great merits, I don't feel British.

    Having lived in as many places I have ... I feel more a global citizen than of any particular nation and don't feel compelled to be wrapped in the flag or culture of where in particular I am living ... respect yes, but becoming a 'local'? ... nah ... just ain't gonna happen with me (yet).

    So it boils down to where my loved ones are ... and currently thats quite a dispersal! Oh ... and where the internet works!!

    The place I enjoyed living the most was L.A. (Burbank), the least Clapham Common (while I was a student) ... now home is Chiang Mai, London, Sussex, Yangon, and Pampanga!
    Its My Life .....!

  17. #17
    Senior Member slampay's Avatar
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    Good thread Paul. I guess what K2 said, home is where your roots are. Family.

    I have more to maybe add, later.

    For now, I took the day off and I'm knee deep in cleaning my pantries! I guess this is home....

  18. #18
    Yes
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    So Born in Scotland...but left 40 years ago...I have only spent a few weeks in Europe in the last 30 years.
    So I feel very little connection there any more,

    After living in Africa, USA ,India,and working in the middle east countries and cultures come and go.

    Most of my friends live in Australia and that has been my community for the last 25 years,Although Australia has
    been very good to me,and that is my default place to go,It still does not feel like home.
    I also have very little desire to return there.

    I have been in LOS 4 years but this sure as hell does not feel like home.
    Still I have little desire to leave.

    I think the home is where the heart is,where I am happy is more important than the Geography.

    I have also loved living in most of the places mentioned.

    I think also I just don't get attached to places,

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    Senior Member tnlawyer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slampay View Post
    For now, I took the day off and I'm knee deep in cleaning my pantries! I guess this is home....
    Here's what my wife found while cleaning the pantries in the home we just bought. I was in the basement setting up the surround sound and I hear "Tirak come up and see what I found" 555

    photo.jpg

  20. #20
    Senior Member slampay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tnlawyer View Post
    Here's what my wife found while cleaning the pantries in the home we just bought. I was in the basement setting up the surround sound and I hear "Tirak come up and see what I found" 555

    photo.jpg
    Makes me want to watch the Grammys.55
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