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Thread: What do you expect out of a relationship?

  1. #41
    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightemup View Post
    Have we all lost our morals?
    Or is it genetically engineered into us to "spread our seeds"?
    Better question... where did that sense of morality come from if it clashes with our evolutionary programming?

  2. #42
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    Trapped in a nightmare world of ever conflicting Moral and Genetic impulses, kind of damned if you do and damned if you don't...555

  3. #43
    Member Cippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarProfiteer View Post
    In my opinion, my r/ships with women work best when I lead...
    Well, I don't like to admit it, I have not had this perspective in any past relationships I have ever had. But I find myself in the lead in my new partnership. I am used to independent, educated, free thinking, experienced women and most decisions were mutual. As my new relationship is developes I find myself forcing my opinion more and more. My TG likes to say: "You always think you're right." For the first time in my life, I almost always am and it is proven to her time and again. So, while I am not as hard assed as WP seems to be. I am compromising much less than I traditionally have and it seems to be working, quite well actually.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarProfiteer View Post
    Weak baiting attempt is weak. Must be bored tonight, eh Baz? Or just heavy on the sauce?
    No bait mate - an honest comment.
    Too many here think that a few bucks can buy a TG relationship.
    I'm not one of them - and I'm sure you know it takes a bit more than that.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Dodger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evilbaz View Post
    No bait mate - an honest comment.
    Too many here think that a few bucks can buy a TG relationship.
    I'm not one of them - and I'm sure you know it takes a bit more than that.

    Now there's a whole thread on its own!!!!

  6. #46
    Senior Member Lightemup's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarProfiteer View Post
    Better question... where did that sense of morality come from if it clashes with our evolutionary programming?
    Don't dance around the question like that.
    Admit, that if you were in a relationship back in the US, you would be expected to be true to your partner and would expect the same back in return, right?

    So what's happened that changed that?
    Purely geography?

  7. #47
    Senior Member Dodger's Avatar
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    Keld come on be serious, whats happened?

    The boot has been firmly placed on the other foot!!!! all of a sudden as over age, over weight, smuglies we can take a pick any night of a partner half our age, without having to charm, who will without any doubt come home with us!!!
    Last edited by Dodger; 29th April 2013 at 21:23. Reason: missed out a word

  8. #48
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    Perchance the OP wants to work out the acceptable parameters for " jumping the fence "?

    The OP doesn't seem to be a moral stance?

  9. #49
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cippy View Post
    Well, I don't like to admit it, I have not had this perspective in any past relationships I have ever had. But I find myself in the lead in my new partnership. I am used to independent, educated, free thinking, experienced women and most decisions were mutual. As my new relationship is developes I find myself forcing my opinion more and more. My TG likes to say: "You always think you're right." For the first time in my life, I almost always am and it is proven to her time and again. So, while I am not as hard assed as WP seems to be. I am compromising much less than I traditionally have and it seems to be working, quite well actually.
    quite simply it breaks down to we have more experience than them and it is also part of their culture to let the man lead

    my wife is pretty damn smart person but she lacks a lot of world experience.
    example...she is great at her job at the Thai restaurant but she will still come home and ask my advice on how to do her job. she knows i have worked as a waiter before
    i've also been telling her for years she doesn't need to get my permission for things and she stil will ask everytime

    it is just their way

    she was flying back to Thailand through Tapei this month. she has done it a few times and knows what to do. but she still asked me to go over her e-ticket with her. i think it is more it makes her feel that her husband is taking care than actually needing to know

  10. #50
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LivinLOS View Post
    Call it what you like.. But if I met a woman, who was 1000's of times wealthier than me.. Who bought me cars 100x more valuable than any amount I had ever owned before that.. Who took me on 5 star holidays a few times a year.. Made sure I always had money in my pocket.. and basically upgraded my life to one 100x wealthier, more secure, more assets, more future, etc than any I had, or realistically had any hope of getting by my own..

    Yeah I might want to protect that gravy train enough that I would ignore some low profile poor behavior..
    I think that sums up the attitudes of most guys in relationships in Thailand and why they feel it is ok

    but, do you ever wonder if they are so ok with it, how they really feel about ya?

  11. #51
    Senior Member Lightemup's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dodger View Post
    Keld come on be serious, whats happened?

    The boot has been firmly placed on the other foot!!!! all of a sudden as over age, over weight, smuglies we can take a pick any night of a partner half our age, without having to charm, who will without any doubt come home with us!!!
    Bernie,
    I'm quite aware of that.
    And as a single guy, love that fact.

    I'm just wondering why, when in a relationship here, both parties think its ok to fuck around?

    And for Baz:
    I'm not an angel, and wasn't in my last relationship, it turned out she wasn't either.... Hence the relationship ended immediately I found out...

    So, here I am, sitting for a week now in a shitty hotel room in Cairo, with way to little to occupy my mind and I find myself at odds with my moral standards.

    Why was it ok for me, in my view, to fuck around, while not accepting the same behavior from my partner?

    And I find that many I know here, do the same, in fact it's almost abnormal not to..

    Hmm... Just got me thinking, that if I was the female partner, I wouldn't be too happy with my partner, if he thought it was ok to fuck around, while I had to be monogamous to him and would end the relationship.
    But that is just cheap talk, because I cannot possibly put myself in their shoes and feel what the alternative is.

    So in the end, what does that say about me?
    Knowing that for them they have to choose between a rock and a hard place and I still go ahead and fuck around...

  12. #52
    Senior Member Waharoa's Avatar
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    I think you are right Keld. And until I meet someone I wouldn't want to fuck around on... I will remain single... and I fear it may be a long wait... 555

    But then, as I've always said... monogamy is unnatural... for either sex. It's just based on insecurity. It doesn't help proliferate the human species...

    And I bet within a few hundred years most of the world's societies will return to how it was a few thousand years ago... when monogamy was rare...

  13. #53
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightemup View Post
    Bernie,
    I'm quite aware of that.
    And as a single guy, love that fact.

    I'm just wondering why, when in a relationship here, both parties think its ok to fuck around?

    And for Baz:
    I'm not an angel, and wasn't in my last relationship, it turned out she wasn't either.... Hence the relationship ended immediately I found out...

    So, here I am, sitting for a week now in a shitty hotel room in Cairo, with way to little to occupy my mind and I find myself at odds with my moral standards.

    Why was it ok for me, in my view, to fuck around, while not accepting the same behavior from my partner?

    And I find that many I know here, do the same, in fact it's almost abnormal not to..

    Hmm... Just got me thinking, that if I was the female partner, I wouldn't be too happy with my partner, if he thought it was ok to fuck around, while I had to be monogamous to him and would end the relationship.
    But that is just cheap talk, because I cannot possibly put myself in their shoes and feel what the alternative is.

    So in the end, what does that say about me?
    Knowing that for them they have to choose between a rock and a hard place and I still go ahead and fuck around...
    and when you break it down, it is pretty crazy to think that a guy who fcuked around immediately broke up with a girl when they found out she did the same
    and maybe the reason that she did was because she knew her partner would, so why shouldn't she

    and although i do feel i should get some "credit" or whatever you want to call it for doing some of the things i have done for my wife, i don't know if i'd want to be in a relationship where i think how he did where he says he has given her all this and etc....

    to be honest, these relationships we are in are not your normal type relationships. we can say they are, but they are not
    so they can be very complex

  14. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarProfiteer View Post
    Hasnt been discussed recently, but when we first moved to CM we had somewhat of a discussion... more like her saying "Thai ladies arent stupid... if a man has money and goes to another place, we know he can find a lady if he wants one... up to him... he is a man, cannot stop him... so we try not to think about this and only think about if he is good to us and if our life is good together... dont have to worry about him cheating in another place, only worry about if you are happy together when he is home."
    Must be taught at school,
    my wife has said basically the same thing, often in fact.

  15. #55
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    I read some research on this once:
    Biologically, Men have more to gain from fucking around as much as possible. (we can reproduce very quick..meaning with multiple partners simultaneously. But for women this takes about 9 months).
    So one could say men have a better excuse. When women fuck around its not necessarily so much the gentical programming that makes them do it.
    Last edited by MajorTom; 30th April 2013 at 04:26.

  16. #56
    Senior Member Lightemup's Avatar
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    Ah, but for us men who use condoms... Hard to use that as a excuse..
    And not much to gain for those who don't, other than lots of child support (Given that we're talking multiple partners)

  17. #57
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowy View Post
    Must be taught at school,
    my wife has said basically the same thing, often in fact.
    but to be honest, i would question my wife's love for me if she said that to me. not saying anyone's wife doesn't love them, just how i would personally feel if my wife had that attitude

    for the record, Ao has said she'd fcuking kill me. actually said that about 2 days after we were married 555

    on the record, i slipped up once in Hong Kong. to be honest, i thought i'd feel more guilty but i didn't, but in the same breath it didn't open the door to more slips
    been away a few times now in other countries and been a good boy

    but i just would have a weird feeling if it was understood i was going on my "visa runs"
    just doesn't feel real to me
    Last edited by marc26; 30th April 2013 at 05:19.

  18. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightemup View Post
    Ah, but for us men who use condoms... Hard to use that as a excuse..
    And not much to gain for those who don't, other than lots of child support (Given that we're talking multiple partners)
    I think this was more about instincts/biological programming of the human. The genetical sex drive isnt reduced or changed because man invented condoms or morals.

  19. #59
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    Most guys who come to the fleshpots of Thailand have flawed moral characters, myself definitely included.

    No matter how good your relationship is here we are surrounded by temptation, continually, unless you are a village hermit (even then?).
    Even if you are all the things Dodger so succinctly described 555!

    Man is weak in the head when the blood flows to nong chai ...

    As for the "don't do it in front of me" attitude - pragmatism is a TG trait.
    It's a bit like a Thai guy having a HiSo wife, for "show" and a Mia Noi for "blow"
    Just never tell the wife you give the other one money 555!
    Last edited by Evilbaz; 30th April 2013 at 09:36.

  20. #60
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    So if your wife says she will kill you if you fck around on her, it is proof positive that she loves you?
    Or If she takes the attitude that it is likely to happen, but a good home life makes up for it?
    On a level playing field (Which we all know it isn't), it would be ludicrous to expect one party in a relationship to accept infidelity on the part of the other. Cue many shades of grey...
    Last edited by Changone; 30th April 2013 at 10:28.

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