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Thread: Lucky for her...

  1. #1
    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    Lucky for her...

    So I hear rumors of a guy who's fallen into the trap that's so cliche, it's cliche to even call it cliche. Tries to turn a club FL'er into a gf and sure enough, 6 weeks into the r/ship she's pregnant. They have supposedly fought often and fought loud in their 6 weeks together, now there will be a kid thrown into the mix. I hear he's thinking about marrying her quickly.

    When I told the she-wok, her response shocked me... "lucky for her".

    I pointed out the guy is a digital nomad and doesnt make much money. And he's only been in country 3 months and isnt familiar with Thailand. And they fight all the time. And they barely know each other. This one has desertion written all over it. And when he fucks off back to his home country, where will she be then?

    "Doesnt matter. Lucky for her. She will get big face in her village. Her baby will be luek krung. And maybe that falang will marry her first. Maybe they together one whole year before he runs away. Big face for her for sure. Lucky."

    It was just another reminder of the vast difference between western and Thai thinking. They are so focused on the now, what they can immediately get, they totally discount the likely negative repercussions that are soon to follow. It blows my mind, really... and saddens me that even after lots of formal education and personal conversations with me where I try to encourage to think a little more deeply about her life, her r/ships, etc... she still thinks this gal is lucky.
    Last edited by WarProfiteer; 25th February 2015 at 20:19.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member kris-one's Avatar
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    Well maybe she is lucky relative to her current future prospects (which being a club FL'er I imagine are currently pretty limited).

    Now she has lots of 'maybes' where as before she had none.




  3. #3
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    Does she need any coloring books ??
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  4. #4
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    This is the reason I don't think I could have a relationship with a TG only in Thailand
    Just too much of this crap thinking, with pees, this baby stuff

    I need some sort of balance to that

    My sister called me the other day, asking if my wife changed her name because she did on FB!
    I explained to her I totally ignore shit like that

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by marc26 View Post
    This is the reason I don't think I could have a relationship with a TG only in Thailand
    Just too much of this crap thinking, with pees, this baby stuff

    I need some sort of balance to that

    My sister called me the other day, asking if my wife changed her name because she did on FB!
    I explained to her I totally ignore shit like that

    I agree ... you couldn't .
    Sipping from the Fountain of Youth that is Thailand.

  6. #6
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evilbaz View Post
    I agree ... you couldn't .


    Different people want different things and I just know I couldn't have a relationship with a TG that hasn't spent time out of Thailand

    But I'd also couldn't have a relationship with a girl that never left Boston either

  7. #7
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    Mrs WP said "Lucky for her". That doesn't necessarily mean she thinks it would be lucky for anyone else, just her.
    Where the ex FL is, and all things considered it is most likely "Luckier for her" than a lot of other outcomes.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Changone View Post
    Mrs WP said "Lucky for her". That doesn't necessarily mean she thinks it would be lucky for anyone else, just her.
    Where the ex FL is, and all things considered it is most likely "Luckier for her" than a lot of other outcomes.
    But you guys would want your wife thinking having a baby a person might not be able to take care of is a good thing?
    Why let that thinking perpetuate?
    We just had discussions( don't think they were serious) about adopting our 2 year old niece because her mom can't afford to take care of her.
    She literally asked us if we could take her because she can't afford it

    To go along with it is condoning ignorant behavior and situations where a mom is trying to give her baby away

    When I went to college I was a white trash college kid, knew not much more than my own little world neighborhood. I met people who broadened my view of the world, which has helped me tremendously in life.
    Isn't that what you should do in your partner's life?
    Last edited by marc26; 25th February 2015 at 23:12.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Thin White Duke's Avatar
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    Maybe she means she wishes it was her and WP.

    A curve ball for Kevin to chew over......and maybe some red lights flashing!
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  10. #10
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    It's hard for us to get our head around the idea of having a kid "because who will look after me when I'm old", and the ignorant part is them not understanding how this is not so likely to happen in these modern times.

    In the immediate term, even when thai on thai marriages fail, it almost always falls to mum and dad to bring up the kid, so in the foreseeable future, they see this as a reasonable and usual thing overall.

    The parents saying "Can't afford it" is once again a sign of the times, but surely still only relative when you are talking about the difference in the money you can get in the west vs what you could expect to get in Thailand.

  11. #11
    Senior Member tnlawyer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thin White Duke View Post
    Maybe she means she wishes it was her and WP.

    A curve ball for Kevin to chew over......and maybe some red lights flashing!
    I was thinking the same thing 555

  12. #12
    Senior Member dontpanic's Avatar
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    I wonder are the barebackers thinking something similar, hell if I get pregnant sure at least I'll have a white skinned baby and maybe a husband to boot. A lot of bargirls already have kids they couldn't afford so it's not like a they've thought it through. Not just getting at Thai's here, there's plenty of western countries with horrific teenage pregnancy rates, they're just thinking they can get a free house and more social welfare.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Geespot's Avatar
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    Maybe a bit hard hitting and of course some exceptions to the rule

    Sometimes these pet father / daughter (forget BF / GF) the world according to me white knight pet projects just don't go as expected.............some thoughts and observations

    When you have not much to begin with and no security net then getting pregnant can be a good option even with a limited digital nomad. Luk Krung is kind of a style thing and the family think all farangs are rich..........so milk it until its dry
    The way of bringing up kids is totally different, so applying western parenting model is just ermmmmm forget about it
    Cultural and rural way of life thinking has been indoctrinated over god knows how long and you expect these girls to take on board and change to your ways. Thinking whats is right and just is pretty naive and irrelevant
    Sure the girls will play along because their family income is at stake
    Rural TG's of which many have been in P4P mostly put up with staying 'inter' to earn much more money (and the staying part they see as work in itself). Most aren't scared of hard work and appreciate the opportunity...........but for most it is just about the money and will try to get back to Thailand as often and for as long as possible. Given the choice they would be back in Thailand in a heartbeat if it didn't affect the money
    When they are 'inter' pretty much all their social circles are Thai and of course inter twined with daily calls back home, eating Thai food and watching Thai TV on the internet.........what does that tell you?

    I think its nice to make the investment and feel good about what your doing but probably best to not expect too much in return. If you want western principals and that whole kind of indoctrination then go get a western girl
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  14. #14
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Changone View Post
    Mrs WP said "Lucky for her". That doesn't necessarily mean she thinks it would be lucky for anyone else, just her.
    Where the ex FL is, and all things considered it is most likely "Luckier for her" than a lot of other outcomes.
    Its a perception tho.. Is it really luckier for a FL.. The new person to support.. The commitment and responsibility.. The changes it then makes.. how harder it can be to find another guy.. etc etc..

    It comes down to attitudes to responsibility.. And detailed thought and cause and effect thinking about the future v determinism and karma guiding your life..

    So many of these girls dont see themselves as the agent of control in their own lives.. They see themselves as washed along with the tide of life (and if your honest there's truth to both elements).
    Last edited by LivinLOS; 26th February 2015 at 05:56.

  15. #15
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    ^^ I agree with about 95% of the above.. But I will say in my own experience I found that some girls outside of Thailand really come to appreciate the same things we do.. The systems the work, the honesty and fairness in things (taking back a broken item to a shop without a receipt), the cleanliness of natural places.. The ability for a 'little person' to get ahead in life and not constantly get knocked back down by the social structure..

    Yes of course many miss home, given our climates I wouldnt expect anything else, but I think many of them grow a huge amount, and ones who have difficult family relationships also feel free having those at arms length..
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  16. #16
    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thin White Duke View Post
    Maybe she means she wishes it was her and WP.

    A curve ball for Kevin to chew over......and maybe some red lights flashing!
    I find myself physically incapable of "liking" this post, even if it made me chuckle...

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  17. #17
    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    My thinking was that she already found a guy to take her off the market. That part I would call "lucky". Even if they fought a lot, still might be better than just being in the club every night, drinking and hoping she finds someone to take her home. It's somewhat of a shot at normalcy, so I get that.

    The part I couldnt wrap my head around was the thinking that immediately getting pregnant and perhaps married, even if it was doomed after a very short run, was the good part of the situation. Lucky for her. Like she'd won a prize or something.

    Taky and I first met them just a week ago... a few of us were getting together to grill some food, drink a few beers and shoot the shit at someone's place. This guy was part of the group that met up at the supermarket to buy the food/beers, and he brought the girl. Once we had wandered a bit away, Taky whispered "honey, I know that girl. She brings many different falangs to the buffet. Everyone at the buffets knows that girl because she always makes her falang customers bring her to buffet. Many times my friends jealous of her because she has different falangs with her all the time. Now your friend is her boyfriend?"

    "Yep. For about 5 or 6 weeks now. I dont know him very well. He knows what she does because it's how he met her. I dont think it will last long because my friend lives in the apartment next to them and they yell and fight a lot. He doesnt understand Thailand or Thai ways very well and she is very, very clever... too clever for him."

    Then last night when I told her about the pregnancy, the possible rushed marriage, etc... yep, this gal was "lucky".

    Even when I pointed out he probably wouldnt hang around long, that they wouldnt have a happy/peaceful home together, that if they fought a lot already adding the stress of a baby would only make it worse... nope, none of it mattered, only that she would be able to brag in the village that she will have a luek krung baby and maybe get a falang husband for a little bit. And maybe if he made some more money in the future, he will send some to her.

    Just totally dismissive of the negative aspects of it all... mind was blown...

  18. #18
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    Yeah add into that mix that the perception is western guys send money for kids in a way that Thai guys dont (and generally I think that perception has some truth)..

    So the honey pot angle has worked.. Now theres the gamble on will he run ?? But stage 1 is complete.. Lucky na ??

    Less about happy ever after.. Just will the plan to tie him into ongoing support work ?

  19. #19
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geespot View Post
    Maybe a bit hard hitting and of course some exceptions to the rule

    Sometimes these pet father / daughter (forget BF / GF) the world according to me white knight pet projects just don't go as expected.............some thoughts and observations

    When you have not much to begin with and no security net then getting pregnant can be a good option even with a limited digital nomad. Luk Krung is kind of a style thing and the family think all farangs are rich..........so milk it until its dry
    The way of bringing up kids is totally different, so applying western parenting model is just ermmmmm forget about it
    Cultural and rural way of life thinking has been indoctrinated over god knows how long and you expect these girls to take on board and change to your ways. Thinking whats is right and just is pretty naive and irrelevant
    Sure the girls will play along because their family income is at stake
    Rural TG's of which many have been in P4P mostly put up with staying 'inter' to earn much more money (and the staying part they see as work in itself). Most aren't scared of hard work and appreciate the opportunity...........but for most it is just about the money and will try to get back to Thailand as often and for as long as possible. Given the choice they would be back in Thailand in a heartbeat if it didn't affect the money
    When they are 'inter' pretty much all their social circles are Thai and of course inter twined with daily calls back home, eating Thai food and watching Thai TV on the internet.........what does that tell you?

    I think its nice to make the investment and feel good about what your doing but probably best to not expect too much in return. If you want western principals and that whole kind of indoctrination then go get a western girl
    I, of course, disagree...

    I grew up in the projects with a family and most of the families around us with bad habits and little discipline. I got away from that and learned some better ways . I still kept all the good things I got from my upbringing......just became a more well rounded person.

    Here's a perfect example:
    My SIL comes to the house with bruises and it's obvious her husband hit her. But it is accepted by everyone, even their 4yr old son joked it off. Why condone that ignorant behavior? Life is about breaking bad cycles. By stressing that things like having a baby with a stranger or hitting a woman is bad you are hopefully breaking that cycle. And the best thing that could happen is she instills those values to her children and the younger kids in the family.

    Anyone who is in a relationship that is doing something outside the normal village TG life is going to have an advisory aspect to their relationship. There is so much they haven't been exposed to, they need that advice and in my case(and I think most cases) they value that advice.
    *Ao just started a new job. It is like me starting a new job because she is going over everything with me. If I didn't provide reason she'd already have quit for a trivial reason.

    As for TG's staying overseas. I'd say your assessment is 50/50. I know as many TG's that never want to live in Thailand again as there are ones that would hop on a plane tomorrow if they could.

    You mentioned that they dont assimilate. I'd say that is somewhat accurate but why do they have to in this day and age?*
    Ao's Thai habits of food, tv, friends is literally no different than how I am with Boston.
    Come in my house and I have as much Boston food stocked as she has Thai food. There is more Boston sports on my TV than Thai soaps. My 2 best friend in NYC were from Boston.

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