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Thread: Will you go to the village?

  1. #1
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Will you go to the village?

    So looks like we will be in Thailand in March to pick up my stepson for a holiday in Canada(maybe permanently)

    So we are making plans on where we want to go/see
    My wife asks me if i will go to the village. She asks if i will go just for one night.

    So my answer was "no fcuking way will i go to the village. part of the trip i look forward to is hanging out with your family in Bangkok, seeing your brothers,sister, nephews, your mom."

    Now the story behind that and why i am confused as hell.

    None of my wife's immediate family live in the village anymore. They all live in Samut Prakan. We are there pretty much daily for at least a few hours when we are in BKK.
    The only people now living in the village are her 2 aunts. They were good to her growing up but have turned into nothing but burdens for her now, and 1 being an outright snake.
    Just her last trip home, they basically ruined her holiday. My wife works very hard and this was her 1st holiday going back home with a real good amount of money to enjoy herself. But as soon as she got home the 2 aunts just put the full court press on her and throughout her stay she ended up letting them borrow about 50kbaht, which hampered the last week of her holiday.
    The snake of an aunt borrowed 35k of it and promised to pay it back when her divorce settlement of 700k came in. Well, the 700k came in and she lied to my wife that she never got it and spent/gambled it all away in a week(even called to ask for more money!)
    The other aunt is ok but her dirtbag husband refuses to provide for his kids. He actually lives with them, sees his kids daily, makes about 12k/mo and literally won;t give them anything! how the fcuk does a man do that?

    So i told my wife, i just can't be around people like that. All families have drama, but why do you want to hang around and aunt that lied and scammed you and an uncle that refuses to feeds his kids? It is not even like there are other people to see and they will just happen to be there, they are the main people she'd go to see.

    It really makes no sense to me. I am thinking maybe she likes to go there to sort of show off her good life? I am baffled

    PS-I think she actually agreed, or at least saw logic in my answer. So it wasn't like i made her feel bad about her family because i like her immediate family a lot( just some drama)

  2. #2
    Senior Member nelsonone's Avatar
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    I'd be arguing that you don't want to run the chance of having her upset and the whole holiday ruined by a repeat of last year's events...whilst also making it clear that you love and are happy to spend time with her own immediate family...and that its a holiday for you too and you need a break from your work so you want to spend some time in Samui and Cambodia (if those are still your plans) so you have some new/revisit travel experiences to share with her

  3. #3
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nelsonone View Post
    I'd be arguing that you don't want to run the chance of having her upset and the whole holiday ruined by a repeat of last year's events...whilst also making it clear that you love and are happy to spend time with her own immediate family...and that its a holiday for you too and you need a break from your work so you want to spend some time in Samui and Cambodia (if those are still your plans) so you have some new/revisit travel experiences to share with her
    it isn't a source of conflict for us
    she was happy with my answer, well satisfied with my answer
    part of the reason i am going on this trip and not just her is because i haven't seen her mom and brothers/sister in almost 3 years
    sort of a family obligation(but happy to do it)
    she knows i have no problem hanging out with her immediate family, i actually quite enjoy myself

    so she is fine with not going, i am just absolutely baffled that she'd even want to go after what happened with them the last trip

  4. #4
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nelsonone View Post
    you want to spend some time in Samui and Cambodia (if those are still your plans)
    Samui is planned for our longest stay(5-6 days)
    i saw that picture of Rroders over at TD of the place you suggested and said "hell yes!"

  5. #5
    Senior Member Waharoa's Avatar
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    Maybe Ao thinks one night in your presence will have such a traumatic effect on her aunts that they beg for forgiveness, return all money owed and never be such selfish bastards ever again...

    Have you asked her why she really wants you to go?

  6. #6
    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    I have zero desire to ever set in foot in the she-wok's village. I am fine going into random villages we stop at when riding a motorcycle around the hillsides. I find people generally interesting and kind. But going into her village with all her extended snake-like family members looking for any person/situation to exploit... no thanks.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
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    I have had pretty good times in both wives villages.. Kim's was clearly much poorer, up on the Mekong, but still good to me and friendly etc..

  8. #8
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LivinLOS View Post
    I have had pretty good times in both wives villages.. Kim's was clearly much poorer, up on the Mekong, but still good to me and friendly etc..
    being in the village is not the point
    i've spent plenty of time in both her villages and always enjoyed it
    we will spend a bit of time with her mom's side in Cha Am most likely

    but i just am baffled why she wants to go right back after the basically ruined her holiday last time and it is not even like it is her parents who she feels beholden to
    like, she was literally miserable about them last time

    plus, like i said, i can deal with the small family dramas, we have our own in my family
    but i just can't hang around a guy who looks at his kids everyday and doesn't provide for them
    if that was my brother, i would tell him to fcuk off

  9. #9
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    ^Maybe even though she is married and has a life with you. If you guys break up she will need to go back to them. Crazy huh?

  10. #10
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dupree View Post
    ^Maybe even though she is married and has a life with you. If you guys break up she will need to go back to them. Crazy huh?
    it is not her immediate family, none live in the village
    she would not need them for anything
    it's just some weird blind loyalty or something

    anyways, she accepts my reason for not going and is fine with it
    her main goal when going home is to see her family in Cha Am(all hard-working, good people) and her immediate family

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by marc26 View Post
    it is not her immediate family, none live in the village
    she would not need them for anything
    it's just some weird blind loyalty or something

    anyways, she accepts my reason for not going and is fine with it
    her main goal when going home is to see her family in Cha Am(all hard-working, good people) and her immediate family
    Even though not immediate it's still "family" or a support group in her mind. Albeit dysfunctional.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Thin White Duke's Avatar
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    Maybe she needs you to be blamed.....so they will stop blaming her.

    Only thing I can think of as maybe a way of shifting conflict or at least reducing it.

  13. #13
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thin White Duke View Post
    Maybe she needs you to be blamed.....so they will stop blaming her.

    Only thing I can think of as maybe a way of shifting conflict or at least reducing it.
    i wish she would blame me but Thais would never even want that confrontation

    i asked her yesterday why she really wanted to go after all the trouble they gave her and she said she still has Moi, her aunt married to the dickbag who won't help feed his kids
    she does put a little pressure on my wife for money, but it is a bit understandable, and told her if she wanted....we could stop off and take her Aunt and 2 kids to Kachanaburi with us

  14. #14
    Senior Member Thin White Duke's Avatar
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    But isn't that exactly the reason.....to avoid Thai conflict.

    So you can explain or show them 'in a nice way' why you won't be the meal ticket.

    Then they will stop pestering her....hopefully.

    Dunno....only reason I can think of.

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