Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 107
Like Tree12Likes

Thread: The Inevitable Happened

  1. #1
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    10,630

    The Inevitable Happened

    Well, i knew we'd be dealing with this sooner than later but my wife's evil father is about to pass away.
    He got into a motor bike accident and is on life support but most likely taking him off tomorrow
    The man was just evil to the bone and the things he did to his family are inexcusable so although i am being sympathetic to my wife, it is very hard for me to fein sorrow for someone i deeply despised

    But no matter how horrendous he was to his family and no matter that he has caused all the hardships in my wife's life, she just can't be practical about it and is inconsolable
    Matters are now compounded worse because, although she has her work permit, her multiple entry visa to go/come back to Canada is being processed and it was applied by her "in country"
    So if she decides to up and leave(i won't force her not to go, her decision) it may severely complicate her return to Canada
    Just seems foolish to potentially make a great situation much harder for a man that was nothing but bad for her

    I always knew this day would come and I always felt she would not act rationally, so we will see how she handles it and the visa situation.

    I was about to hit send on the flight for 8 hours from now when i remembered she is not allowed entry back in Canada!

    I also know no matter how practical i try to be, I will come off as the bad guy so nothing i can do but sit back and tell her sorry for her loss

  2. #2
    Senior Member soupdragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Bang Tao
    Posts
    2,367
    Blood is thicker than water.

    Your approach to this is totally understandable but this is her father, no way should she miss the chance to say goodbye, that could be something she would regret forever.

    Is there no way round this on compassionate grounds ? No emergency procedures for her to be allowed to go home and return to Canada?

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Thailand
    Posts
    2,267
    Quote Originally Posted by soupdragon View Post
    Is there no way round this on compassionate grounds ? No emergency procedures for her to be allowed to go home and return to Canada?
    I am not sure, but I believe that in many countries there is an exception for death in the nearest family.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    The cold Wong
    Posts
    1,591
    Quote Originally Posted by soupdragon View Post
    Blood is thicker than water.
    Unfortunate sometimes - but sadly always true !

  5. #5
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    10,630
    Quote Originally Posted by soupdragon View Post
    Blood is thicker than water.

    Your approach to this is totally understandable but this is her father, no way should she miss the chance to say goodbye, that could be something she would regret forever.

    Is there no way round this on compassionate grounds ? No emergency procedures for her to be allowed to go home and return to Canada?
    calling Immigration tomorrow and i finally was able to convince her to stick around for the Cathay flight so we at least could ask some questions to immigration
    i think she'd end up getting a visa in BKK at Canadian Consulate with her dad's death certificate but when dealing with visas i always err to the 10% unlikely chance of getting rejected

    i am a huge family man and deeply loyal to people who have done good by me and my family but i also don't think just because family they have a catch all on respect
    i remember my long time roommate, his parents were horrendous to him, really caused some deep issues with him and then when both were sick they expected him to be there when they weren't when he was a kid. i would have said fcuk em

  6. #6
    Senior Member soupdragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Bang Tao
    Posts
    2,367
    I hear what you are saying but dead is dead, there will be no second chance.

    My feeling is that it would be far better for her to go and maybe regret doing so than not to go and having that on her conscience for the rest of her life and not be able to do anything about it.

    Even if it goes against what you feel is best I can't see any other viable option than for you to support her on this. At the end of the day we are emotional beings and you can rationalize all you like but sometimes you cannot control those emotions and you have to 'follow your heart'.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator LivinLOS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    14,153
    But dead is dead.. If hes actually dead its not like the last moments on the deathbed to make things right or clear..

    Me I dont hold much stead in the funerals thing.. If it can be done great, but its mostly so others can see your grief..

    Tough situation either way.. You have few ways where you advice helps. Best to simply take the back seat.
    slimbag and Dodger like this.

  8. #8
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    10,630
    Quote Originally Posted by soupdragon View Post
    I hear what you are saying but dead is dead, there will be no second chance.

    My feeling is that it would be far better for her to go and maybe regret doing so than not to go and having that on her conscience for the rest of her life and not be able to do anything about it.

    Even if it goes against what you feel is best I can't see any other viable option than for you to support her on this. At the end of the day we are emotional beings and you can rationalize all you like but sometimes you cannot control those emotions and you have to 'follow your heart'.
    hey, if it wasn't for the muddled visa situation i'd look at it as trip home for her, nothing wrong with that

    and i can't dictate how she feels, plus i always knew she'd lose it once this bastard finally did something to get himself killed. so this is not a shock

    i truly fell sorry for her feelings of loss, i just don't think she should feel it that much.......if that makes sense.

    it is not even like she is going home to console her mom. her mom got smart about 5 years ago when he nearly killed her(really nearly killed her)
    so he's been out of her life for some time

  9. #9
    Senior Member soupdragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Bang Tao
    Posts
    2,367
    Quote Originally Posted by marc26 View Post
    hey, if it wasn't for the muddled visa situation i'd look at it as trip home for her, nothing wrong with that

    and i can't dictate how she feels, plus i always knew she'd lose it once this bastard finally did something to get himself killed. so this is not a shock

    i truly fell sorry for her feelings of loss, i just don't think she should feel it that much.......if that makes sense.

    it is not even like she is going home to console her mom. her mom got smart about 5 years ago when he nearly killed her(really nearly killed her)
    so he's been out of her life for some time
    Not trying to tell you anything mate, sorry if it came across that way.

    I have been left a bit emotionally charged following recent events in my life so maybe I am feeling stuff a bit deeper than I should.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Frithco
    Posts
    3,282
    Women are emotional nuts. If you want them in your life you have to accept their extremes. It sucks though when it costs money...55
    JimCA2 likes this.

  11. #11
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    10,630
    Quote Originally Posted by soupdragon View Post
    Not trying to tell you anything mate, sorry if it came across that way.

    I have been left a bit emotionally charged following recent events in my life so maybe I am feeling stuff a bit deeper than I should.
    no way
    i appreciate anyone's response
    the reason i put the thread up
    i don't know, just i somehow think dealing with this with a tg is much different than a farang girl

  12. #12
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    10,630
    Quote Originally Posted by Dupree View Post
    Women are emotional nuts. If you want them in your life you have to accept their extremes. It sucks though when it costs money...55
    no real money outlay for me besides the 1300 for the flight i just booked and a bit here and there if she needs it when there
    my wife had an insurance policy on him that she kept up to date religiously, so she is getting a chunk of change

    but yes, that would be a tough one if i had to lay out a few thousand dollars for someone i despised

  13. #13
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    85
    Your wife obviously feels very differently to the way you do. Its up to her to make the decision whether to go or not, & the possibility that this may create a major problem when she tries to return, which she is prepared to chance, which is what I think you're really worried about.

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Frithco
    Posts
    3,282
    Quote Originally Posted by marc26 View Post
    no real money outlay for me besides the 1300 for the flight i just booked and a bit here and there if she needs it when there
    my wife had an insurance policy on him that she kept up to date religiously, so she is getting a chunk of change

    but yes, that would be a tough one if i had to lay out a few thousand dollars for someone i despised
    Ermmm...WHAT!! Are you sure they're not tears of joy? 55

  15. #15
    Senior Member slampay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    1,640
    Quote Originally Posted by Dupree View Post
    Ermmm...WHAT!! Are you sure they're not tears of joy? 55
    Scary.....she's probably got 5 mil on Paul's head!..555

  16. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    2,059
    ...........................55555555555555555555555 555!

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    2,059
    Quote Originally Posted by marc26 View Post
    no real money outlay for me besides the 1300 for the flight i just booked and a bit here and there if she needs it when there
    my wife had an insurance policy on him that she kept up to date religiously, so she is getting a chunk of change

    but yes, that would be a tough one if i had to lay out a few thousand dollars for someone i despised


    How much do you reckon she'll bring home?

  18. #18
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    10,630
    Quote Originally Posted by Evilbaz View Post
    How much do you reckon she'll bring home?
    none
    pays for the funeral and such
    that was exactly her plan all along

    possibly a bit to bring home

  19. #19
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    10,630
    Quote Originally Posted by slampay View Post
    Scary.....she's probably got 5 mil on Paul's head!..555
    there is a lot more than 5mil baht in it for her 555

  20. #20
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    10,630
    well, my wife is flying in a few hours
    i talked to Immigration today and although they couldn't answer specific questions about her application they were very nice
    she will have to reapply for a new visa in BKK. with her valid WP and the death certificate, they don't see an issue
    i also have an email in with the Ottawa office where her application is because it is a few days pass due
    if they come back that it was approved i will even see if possible for her to arrive in Canada with her WP and death certificate along with the visa approval letter and get her visa processed at airport. I don't think possible, although i can do that after NAFTA, they may make an exception
    The thing is, i always think worse case scenario with visas and go off of that

    I will say she seemed to be a lot more rational last night. Some family members are saying they should operate even though the doctor said that only gives him a 10% to live and even if survives, he will be a vegetable
    Saw pictures of the accident scene. But not where he landed. It was pretty fcuked up where there was a small barrier(we call them wooden horses) over a huge whole in the middle of the street and apparently dark

    I didn't really weigh in how i felt, i just laid out her options and worse case scenarios
    I just feel bad she can't just worry about the death(regardless my thoughts on that), and has to worry about her visa situation also

    Just would be so easy if she could have just got on the plane with her return ticket and see ya in 3 weeks. But life isn't easy, i often tell her 555

    I was also surprised that Cathay's Pacific ticket was priced as a regular fare(1,330cad) within 24hrs of departure, considering there was only one seat on the VYR-HKG leg to choose

Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •