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Thread: Recognzing both cultures

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Recognzing both cultures

    If someone asked me what the biggest problem in my marriage(not a huge one or a deal breaker) I would have to say it is that my Thai wife feels her culture should be followed but often times disregards my culture.

    She is always quick to point out this is Thai way or this is what we do in Thailand but will often ignore what we deem polite and cultural.

    A few cases in point:

    Entering the house-If she is working a double shift then we don't see each other until 10:30pm and that is usually for 30mins before I go to bed. But often times, she will walk in the house blabbing away on her cell phone to Thailand. I have told her repeatedly that is considered very rude in our culture. When you come home, you greet your family and interact with them a bit.

    Cellphone usage- This is not just her but something she just seems not to grasp my annoyance of. She had a Thai couple over last week to cook Mook-a-ti and the Tg must have had 5 20 minute phone conversations. And it happens ALL the time with Thais that are invited over. No matter how many times I tell my wife that is considered so rude in our culture she just doesn't seem to grasp why I would be annoyed that someone invited to my house that I have to take time to entertain deems it ok to spend most of her time on her phone.

    I just find in a lot of farang/thai relationships outside of Thailand, the farangs try and do a good job of adhering to and accepting the Thai culture to make them feel comfortable but they tend to ignore the same culture they are living in.

    I am not saying the ignore all of our culture but I do think they put such an importance on Thai culture and norms.........but tend to disregard ours a bit

  2. #2
    Senior Member nelsonone's Avatar
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    ^ I find the phone thing to be more a generational difference than a national one.....

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    Senior Member slampay's Avatar
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    ^^ it spins me out when am at a liquor store/7-11 and the Indian or Paki guy behind the counter is doing the 'durka-durka' on the phone like I don't even exist. Rude pricks...
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    A woman won The Nobel Peace Prize? Must have been a pretty good sandwich.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nelsonone View Post
    ^ I find the phone thing to be more a generational difference than a national one.....
    So, you're saying that marc26 is old?
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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slampay View Post
    ^^ it spins me out when am at a liquor store/7-11 and the Indian or Paki guy behind the counter is doing the 'durka-durka' on the phone like I don't even exist. Rude pricks...
    I went into a dollar store and the Indian guy was on the phone, I asked him where I could get a spray bottle and he still sits and points to back aisle
    I walk all around and can't find it. So I go back, he starts to point again and I tell him "Get the fcuk off the phone and show me"
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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nelsonone View Post
    ^ I find the phone thing to be more a generational difference than a national one.....
    It certainly is a generational difference but walk around Vancouver for a day and you will see it is almost all Asian females(of various nationalities) with their faces in their phones all the time, everywhere
    There is not even a close 2nd when it comes to Asian females using their phones

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greatdane View Post
    So, you're saying that marc26 is old?
    Well, I kind of am when it comes to this
    I am 42yrs, the guys that work for me are 33 and 32 and they are always in their phones
    If they ask me out for beers I tell them I will go if they want to chat to me
    I have stopped going golfing with them because they will spend all 18holes texting their buddies

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Here's one that is cultural although I don't find it rude or as annoying but strange to me.

    When my wife invites Thai friends over they will stay 5-6hrs and on a work night, it starts to get a bit much..............especially in a 2bdrm apartment
    But I love having company, just not maybe 6 hours of it!

    But the funny thing is when we visit someone, Ao is very aware of overstaying our welcome.
    It is not that she wants to leave but she is aware when we probably should leave but the same doesn't apply when we have guests.

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    Senior Member Geespot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marc26 View Post
    It certainly is a generational difference but walk around Vancouver for a day and you will see it is almost all Asian females(of various nationalities) with their faces in their phones all the time, everywhere
    There is not even a close 2nd when it comes to Asian females using their phones
    Bangkok is the worst I've seen anywhere. When they are walking they still permanently have their face in their phones. Pisses me off big time; feel like grabbing it off them and smashing the phone to bits

    Just as an aside Patts; alot of the ago gos dont let them use their phones inside the ago go

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    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    The phone thing would bother me. And I agree w/ Nels, that aint got nothing to do with being Thai.

    I dont have the phone issues with the she-wok... unless we call "using the phone to take a picture of every meal" a problem. Minor annoyance. I just want to eat when the food comes, but nooooo... gotta compose a pic of the plates of food first.

    Overall we accept each others cultural habits... I know there will be a Buddha shrine in the house and that she thinks rice or noodles are a necessity with every meal, and for her part she accepts that I will leave the toilet seat up after pissing and occasionally disappear on a motorcycle for a few days. It works for us... not much fuss on either side, really... 555...

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    Senior Member dontpanic's Avatar
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    Isn't this a case of cultural integration that is a problem the world over? Muslims and African immigrants do tend to stick to themselves when they come to Europe and they expect their cultures and rituals to be respected and catered for whilst not making much of an effort to integrate into the culture they've moved to.

    The phone thing can be generational but there's a 50 yr old in my office who takes and makes personal calls on his landline phone all the time, has a really annoying habit of shouting down the phone too. Smart phones are ruining this generation, give me smart people any day.

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    Senior Member Thin White Duke's Avatar
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    African girls also not good when it comes to phone etiquette.

    And funnily enough also can be prone to taking pictures of lunch.... and expensive bottles of liquer.

    I just put it down to worrying about your next meal or showing off to your less fortunate mates....sad actually

  13. #13
    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thin White Duke View Post
    African girls also not good when it comes to phone etiquette.
    Also well beyond anything Thai when it comes to being late/on time... Africans are on a whole different level when it comes to that.

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dontpanic View Post
    Isn't this a case of cultural integration that is a problem the world over? Muslims and African immigrants do tend to stick to themselves when they come to Europe and they expect their cultures and rituals to be respected and catered for whilst not making much of an effort to integrate into the culture they've moved to.

    The phone thing can be generational but there's a 50 yr old in my office who takes and makes personal calls on his landline phone all the time, has a really annoying habit of shouting down the phone too. Smart phones are ruining this generation, give me smart people any day.
    Yesterday I was outside my apartment building with my dog(100lb Golden) waiting for my wife. There was a youngish Saudi guy and I could see him interested in the dog. Usually the Muslims in my building make a big show of being afraid of my dog.
    So the young Saudi came up and was asking a bunch of questions and he was super nice...........it was quite refreshing

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    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=WarProfiteer;55186]The phone thing would bother me. And I agree w/ Nels, that aint got nothing to do with being Thai.

    QUOTE]

    I think it is very much a Thai thing(although other nationalities do it)
    We go out a lot with a bunch of Thais and most times at their urging. I wouldn't even be able to count the amount of times we are all sitting around and a Thai is in a full fledged 20 min conversation in the middle of the table. There is not a time we are out that one of them is not doing this. Why even go out? Or just wait the 2 hrs and have that convo when you get home
    Even the young guys that work for me who are always on their phone won't have 20min full on convos

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    Senior Member kris-one's Avatar
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    I think it's an asian thing. I remember being in a cinema in China and the bloke in the next row answered his phone and had a 10 min convo just talking in normal volume. Couldn't do anything but laugh.

    Has anyone seen these long poles (not a sexual innuendo ) that you can mount your cam/phone and take selfies. Wtf... It's mostly Asians too.




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    Senior Member tnlawyer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kris-one View Post
    I think it's an asian thing. I remember being in a cinema in China and the bloke in the next row answered his phone and had a 10 min convo just talking in normal volume. Couldn't do anything but laugh.

    Has anyone seen these long poles (not a sexual innuendo ) that you can mount your cam/phone and take selfies. Wtf... It's mostly Asians too.
    I saw them in BKK this summer. Had a long laugh about it. And agree with the phone comments...I think it's definitely an Asian thing.

  18. #18
    Senior Member marc26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kris-one View Post
    I think it's an asian thing. I remember being in a cinema in China and the bloke in the next row answered his phone and had a 10 min convo just talking in normal volume. Couldn't do anything but laugh.

    Has anyone seen these long poles (not a sexual innuendo ) that you can mount your cam/phone and take selfies. Wtf... It's mostly Asians too.
    yeah, tons of Asian girls always taking selfies with that pole

  19. #19
    Senior Member WarProfiteer's Avatar
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    I only recently saw a 'selfie pole' and like others, thought it was just ridiculous.

    If the she-wok gets one, I'm throwing it away when she's off at school...
    tnlawyer likes this.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Dodger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarProfiteer View Post
    I only recently saw a 'selfie pole' and like others, thought it was just ridiculous.

    If the she-wok gets one, I'm throwing it away when she's off at school...
    That really does not sound good, especially on an asian based forum!!! maybe uni, college, medical classes might be less accurate but sound better????
    Custard should be a colour...cos I could then paint over the mess I've just made!!!

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