Most of aware of our long process that has been bringing my stepson to Canada.
My wife started coming here on 6 month tourist visas in 2009
She got a WP in 2012 but had some minor health issues which put as in a grey zone of not knowing if she be allowed to stay in Canada
It wasn't until she got her knew 3yr WP last month that we now know her admissibility would not be an issue
So this is the 1st time other her and I have 3yr WP together
So I stared to bring up the possibility of my step-son coming over to go to school but my wife kind of kept blowing me off.
One reason, I thought, was I am very fickle and change my mind a lot but she knows I would never do that in regards to her son, anything I say will be done.....I know the importance.
So we finally had a real talk yesterday and she basically said she doesn't have a connection with her son like her mom does and best to leave him there.
Now, some of her reasoning made sense...
He has one more year left of "middle school" she thinks he should at least finish before coming here
Her and some people on here have said at 13/14yrs old it is best to leave him where he is(I don't totally disagree)
But just hearing her so willingly give up a chance to have a full time relationship with her son was a bit shocking. I have always knew in the back of my mind that she felt this way and I know it is a cultural difference and I shouldn't care so much since he is only my stepson............but it effected me greatly hearing in speak so bluntly.
Again, I know it is cultural.........but when you are used to mothers doing anything to be with their kids it is not that easy to break away from that way of thinking and accept it is different
I told her I felt that some of her reasoning does make sense but that I also felt she was basically giving up any chance to have a mother/son relationship with him and it may effect both of them down the road
And seeing how hard it is for the Thais we know that have degrees from Thailand able to get a real job here.......I still believe if you have a chance for your child to get a western education, it opens up so many more options for them
Also, I'd be lying if I said hearing her be so ok with not having a bond or relationship with her son doesn't give me pause when we are trying to have a baby.
I know half the guys wouldn't even care if they ever saw their TG's kids.............but I don't know.....it all just bummed me out